33 Facts That Only A True Zimbabwean Will Agree To…

Living and growing up in Zimbabwe was an exciting experience. Unique to what can be found around the world, we had our own way of doing things. Though mostly faced with challenges growing up, to this day we can look back at those times and smile.

Here are facts that every Zimbabwean went through and we can all relate:

Mazoe Orange crush, Zimbabwe cordial

  1. You only buy drinks when you have visitors.
  2. Your fridge usually has 2 litre Mazoe containers filled with water only.
  3. You think that “Coke” is the generic name for all soft drinks, “Mazoe” for all cordials, “Cobra” for all floor polish, “Surf” for all washing powder and “Colgate” for all toothpaste.
  4. You only know two types of salad – coleslaw and coleslaw.
  5. No Zimbabwean wedding is held without there being coleslaw salad.
  6. You only have 3 spices- salt, mhiripiri and Royco usavi mix.
  7. For you Christmas means new clothes, and Christmas dinner is rice and chicken.
  8. You think of the 4 major food groups as Beef, Chicken, Sadza and Tea.
  9. Your idea of eating out is going to Chicken Inn.
  10. You think BORED means annoyed, frustrated or disappointed (as in waakundibhowa manje).
  11. You think plastic bag and paper bag are the same thing.
  12. You think the whole of the U.K is London.
  13. You think perfume and deodorant is the same thing.
  14. You hear the word WEDDING and immediately think of STEPS.
  15. You know what DAMAGE is, in relation to marriage.
  16. You had to smack your T.V to get better reception.
  17. You only go to the dentist when you have a toothache.
  18. You grew up in a house where there were a special set of cups that no-one touched.
  19. Those cups only came out when visitors came.
  20. Every other bedroom besides your parents was called a “spare”.
  21. You watch TV whilst your radio is on.
  22. You call recharging your cellphone airtime “juicing up”.
  23. You know how to fit 10 people into a sedan.
  24. You know there are two classes of people- maNOSE and maSRB but are not sure where you belong.
  25. You bad-mouth the Government but never vote.
  26. You have named your dog after animals that are not remotely related to dogs. e.g. Tiger and Spider.
  27. You know all the 4 seasons, Almost Summer, Summer, Still Summer and Christmas.
  28. You know all the specs of the latest BMW, Merc or Lexus but you do not own even a bicycle.
  29. You visit a relative without prior notice and will try to stay for as long as possible (nekuti pane chikafu…).
  30. You’ve never been to the Falls, Kariba or Eastern Highlands but have been to Joburg, Francistown etc several times (madhiri…!).
  31. Going to your rural home is going on holiday.
  32. It takes a whole day and a half to get a passport or an I.D.
  33. You will forward this to other Zimbabweans.

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